Marauder Notes
by PotterScar
Summary: Note passing in class... Marauder style. Those poor professors.
1. Padfoot the Annoying

**Yeah, I have a writers block for my other stories, so here I am, writing the notes the Marauders passed in class. It's multi-chaptered, with the date, Year, and class at the top of each. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

Prongs  
****Padfoot  
**Moony  
_Wormtail_Prongs

* * *

_October 8th, 1973  
__3rd Year  
__Transfiguration  
__Between Moony and Padfoot_

**Moooooooony!**

Sirius, I'm trying to pay attention.

**Why?**

Because I want to graduate and get a job.

**You're thirteen.**

So?

**You're acting like you're seventy.**

Shut up.

**Geez, no need to get testy...**

Will you stop writing me notes? McGonagall keeps looking over here...

**So?**

So if we get caught passing notes in class, we'll–

I told you Sirius!

**She didn't yell that much.**

She gave us detention!

**Aren't you used to it yet?**

NO!

**Geez... so does your furry little problem come with PMS or something?**

Sirius! Don't put that in writing, you idiot!

**I'm telling on you.**

What?

**You called me a name.**

What are you, five?

**Another insult! Geez, Moony, you're so mean.**

Shut up and let me pay attention.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No times infiniti.**

Dammit, Sirius, you're so immature!

**AM NOT!** **What's with you and the names?**

Shut UP!

**Fine. I'm talking to Prongs.**

* * *

**Prooooooongs!**

Shit.

**Moony's being mean to me.**

Go away.

**All of my friends are bullies!**

Fine. I'm sorry, Pads.

**Thank you.**

No problem.

**So... what's up?**

Class.

**Yeah.**

Yeah.

**Hmm.**

What?

**Just pondering.**

Pondering what?

**Well, wouldn't _you _like to know.**

Are you okay?

**Moony says I'm never okay.**

Too true, too true.

**So how about those apples?**

Huh?

**What?**

What apples?

**Apples?**

Yeah! You just said, 'so how about those apples?'

**No I didn't.**

Yes you did.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No times infiniti.**

Damn.

* * *

**I really don't have a life, do I?**

**PotterScar**


	2. Finally! He's asleep!

**People actually liked the notes! Jeez!**

**By the way, sorry if I confused anyone with the "Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail" font thing.**

**The correct thing is:**

Prongs (normal)

**Padfoot (bold)**

Moony (underlined)

_Wormtail __(italicized)_

* * *

_November 3rd, 1973  
__3rd Year  
__History of Magic  
__All Marauders_

**Binns is boring.**

Duh.

That's pretty obvious, Sirius.

**Well, I have nothing better to say.**

_I'm hungry._

You're always hungry.

**I agree.**

You guys are mean.

**Hypocrite.**

Huh?

**Do I need to dig out the note from October 8th, in Transfiguration class?**

How the bloody hell do you remember that?

Why the bloody hell do you still have the note?

_Why the bloody hell is everyone sleeping?_

**You're right. Patricia O'Connor looks hot while she sleeps.**

That's cos she's not glaring at you like you're a worm.

**Or like how Lily glares at you.**

Shut up.

**OW!**

James, stop hurting Sirius.

I only hit him once.

**Yeah, but it felt like you hit me with a brick!**

You're lucky I didn't.

**I hate you.**

Right back atcha, mate.

_I think Sirius is crying._

**I am not.**

Yes you are.

_Yeah, there's little tears rolling down your cheeks and everything._

**NO THERE ISN'T!**

Sirius might be right. Severus and some Slytherin are playing 'Pass The Onion'.

Then why isn't it affecting us?

_Cos little Sirius has sensitive eyes._

**You just wait.**

_Til what?_

**Until your doom.**

_Um... Moony?_

Sirius, stop threatening Peter and take some notes.

**Why should I?**

Because Moony said so.

**Oh. Good reason.**

I know.

**Doesn't mean I'm gonna do it.**

Why don't you take a little nap?

**Okay.**

* * *

Finally! He's asleep! 

After five lullabies, three glasses of warm milk, and a shoulder massage.

_It's a good thing you're good at conjuring stuff, Moony. He gulped down that milk._

I can't believe Binns didn't notice.

Yeah, but half the class did. Now they probably think Peter's a homosexual, after that massage...

_I am not._

Sure. Anyways, now that we're enjoying a few minutes of freedom, what do we talk about?

Umm... I don't know...

_Usually Sirius starts the conversations._

Oh damn.

So should we wake him up? Or sit through Binns?

Either way, our death is insured.

_Damn._

Damn.

Damn is right, dear friends.

* * *

**Another bunch of notes done :)**


	3. Wolfsbane And A Rotten Tomato

**I've gotten good feedback, I'm very glad that you guys like this!**

* * *

_December 20th, 1973  
__3rd Year  
__Potions  
__All Marauders_

**La dee da dee dum...**

What?

**I am singing.**

That's singing? I thought your stomach was having problems.

**Is that an insult?**

_I believe so._

**Cool.**

So...

**So what?**

_Well, this is fun._

**I'm bored.**

Sirius, don't add too much Wolfsbane to your potion.

**Why?**

It will explode.

You shouldn't have told him that.

...shit.

* * *

_OWWWWW!_

Poor Peter got drenched in Sirius' potion.

_Why the bloody hell did you tell him about the Wolfsbane!_

Mwuhaha.

Wow! Moony's turning evil!

_Well, I'm going to the Hospital Wing!_

Have fun.

_Thanks._

Well, Wormy's gone. What now?

Let's watch Professor Slughorn scream at Sirius.

Severus is laughing.

Let's throw something at him.

James...

What?

Nothing. Here, you can throw Sirius' leftover... whatever that is from breakfast.

Looks like a tomato.

A rotten tomato. Why does Sirius have that?

Dunno. He's Sirius, what can you expect.

True. So, you wanna throw it?

Sure.

* * *

Too bad Nott saw you.

Yeah.

So you and Sirius have a week of detention now?

Yup.

Why aren't you upset?

Should I be?

Yes. You're going to have to miss Quidditch practice.

SHIT!

* * *

**I love writing these!**

**PotterScar**


	4. Look, A Dead Squirrel!

**XDD**

**People like these notes:-) that is so cool!**

* * *

_December 24th, 1972  
__3rd Year  
__The Common Room  
__All Marauders_

**IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!**

Um, Padfoot?

**Yeah?**

Why are you writing us a note?

**I... don't... know...**

Eh, Rem, let him have his fun.

**Yay!**

_We should take a trip to the kitchens tonight._

Good idea, Worm. We can stop by the Slytherin common room too.

**Mwuhaha.**

Aren't you scared that we'll get caught? On Christmas Eve?

**The only person that could possibly catch us would be Father Christmas!**

Yeah, and he wouldn't give us detention.

_He might put coal in our stockings._

That's a myth.

**No it isn't.**

What?

**It's a government conspiracy.**

What are you on about?

**See, the government doesn't want us to misbehave and threatens us that we will get coal in our stockings if we do.**

Oh...kay...

**The coal is made from dead bodies.**

_WHAT!_

Sirius, that is the dumbest thing you've ever said.

**I beg to differ.**

Me too.

_Sirius has said some pretty stupid things._

Like the time he said bungee jumping from the Astronomy tower would be fun. Without bungee cords.

_And when he said that we should go skinny dipping with the squid._

**And when I said that we should nail a dead squirrel to our dorm door.**

When did you say that?

**Just now. We should.**

Ew, no.

_Sirius, that's disgusting._

**It would set us apart from the other, boring Gryffindors.**

I'm sure they'd love the stench.

**Of course.**

Can we get off the topic of dead squirrels?

**No.**

Sirius...

**Hmpf. Fine.**

_Finally._

**Hey, look!**

What?

**There's a fist fight over by the portrait hole!**

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's have a look!

* * *

"Let's have a look!" Brilliant, James!

You went along with it!

Well, now I have a bloody nose!

**Come on, you weren't _that _involved in the mosh pit.**

Shut up.

**Yes sir.**

_Look on the bright side, Remus._

What bright side?

_The blood from your nose stained the sweater your mum gave you. Now you have an excuse not to wear it._

Good point. You're forgiven, James.

Woo hoo.

* * *

**I don't know where I get the ideas for these...**

**PotterScar**


	5. But He Doesn't Have A Brain

_January 1st, 1974 (12:01 AM)_

_3rd Year_

_Dormitories_

_All Marauders (unwillingly)_

**IT'S 1974!**

What the hell, Sirius!

**What?**

You just woke us up, you idiot!

_And why are we passing this around?_

I don't know...

Can we stop?

**NO!**

_Why not?_

**Because.**

_Because why?_

**Because your mom.**

Augh... can we continue this in the morning?

**This, my dear Moony, _is_****the morning.**

Just barely.

**Still.**

He's right.

Can I please go back to sleep?

**No.**

Didn't think so.

_Just ignore him..._

Pssht, you think that will work?

_No, but I can try._

**No you can't.**

:sigh:

**You know what we should talk about?**

What, Sirius?

**The New Year's Fairy.**

_Who's the New Years Fairy?_

You shouldn't have asked, Wormy...

**Shut up, James. It's a giant ogre of a fairy that comes around on New Years morning as you sleep and pulls out your brains through ears.**

Well, that wouldn't be a problem for you.

**Shut up. You should be thanking me. I saved your lives.**

What?

**You see, if you had kept on sleeping, then you would have had your brains pulled out**

_Thanks._

Yeah, thanks loads.

**Are you being sarcastic?**

Not at all.

**Wow!**

He was being sarcastic, Pads.

**Oh. HOW MEAN!**

_And here comes a world-famous Padfoot rant._

**I saved your lives, and all you can do is whine and complain! You know, next year, I'll have your brains pulled out. You just wait. YOU JUST WAIT.**

I'll wait.

Same.

_Me three._

**Should I be offended?**

No.

**Oh.**

You should give me chocolate.

**Okay.**

The expensive Honeydukes kind.

**Alright.**

Cool.

**Yeah.**

I'm tired.

**I'm not.**

Obviously.

I think Wormtail's fallen asleep.

Lucky him.

**I'm not too concerned. He has no brains to pull out, after all.**

Haha.

I agree with him, actually.

**Wow, a first!**

I know.

It's like, the apocalypse.

Wow, you spelled that right.

**Wow. I can't even say it, let alone spell it.**

Prongs' IQ might be higher than we thought.

Shut up.

* * *

**Happy new year!**

**PotterScar**


	6. Peter, There's Something In Your Hair

_January 7th, 1974  
__3rd Year  
__Transfiguration  
__All Marauders_

**Could this class get anymore boring?**

Yeah. If it was History of Magic.

**Good point.**

Will you guys stop passing notes?

_Why?_

Because I'm _trying _to pay attention.

Trying being the figurative word...

**What the bloody hell does 'figurative' mean?**

Not literal or using figures of speech.

Oh... Merlin...

**I think I'm choking on the smartness of it all.**

_:cough cough:_

Ahhh I'm dying...

Shut up.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No.**

Yes.

**No times infiniti.**

Crap, we're back to this?

**Yup!**

ARGH! Padfoot, SHUT UP!

**Make me.**

Perhaps I will!

**Well... you're a pigeon!**

What the hell?

**Yeah, you poop on things. And your shit is WHITE.**

He has an iron-fortified diet.

_Moony isn't anorexic?_

No!

_Oh._

You're just too busy gorging that you don't notice anyone else eat.

**Or when people stick things in your hair.**

_What?_

**Nothing.**

* * *

**A lot shorter, but I'm putting up two chapters at once, give me a break! Besides, this seemed like a good place to stop.**

**PotterScar**


	7. Marauder History & Shocking Moments Book

_February 14th, 1974  
__3rd Year  
__Potions  
__All Marauders_

**Happy V-Day!**

Great. A reminder of what a loser I am.

You depressed or something, Prongs?

No... it's Lily.

_Isn't it always Lily?_

... yes.

**She tore up your singing card, didn't she?**

Tore it up and fed it to her owl.

Well, I understand why. It was repulsive.

Not helping, Moony.

Sorry.

_We told you not to buy it._

**It was the scariest thing I ever saw.**

_It drove the house elves away._

It drove our pets away.

**Hell, it drove the freaking bugs away.**

I get the point.

:gasp: You got the point!

**Well, I must record this in the Marauder History and Shocking Moments Book (better known as the MHSMB).**

What the...?

**Look!**

It's pink.

**So?**

_Why do you have a pink book?_

**Don't ask me that.**

_Too late._

**It's my sister's.**

Padfoot?

**Yeah?**

You don't _have _a sister.

**... damn.**

Damn's right. Where'd the book come from?

**You honestly haven't seen it before? I've been recording in it since we came up with our group's name!**

_Really? What kind of dirt do you have in there?_

**Let me see... photos of the time James fell off his broom during a match and landed on McGonagall...**

YOU GOT PICTURES OF THAT!

**Yeah. Oh, and I have some pictures of the time Remus had his nose so buried in a book he walked right into a suit of armor...**

That hurt.

_Nothing of me, right?_

**Of course not...**

_Sirius?_

**Alright, I have a picture from when you wet the bed in first year.**

_How did you get pictures of that!_

**You guys should just be glad I haven't spread them around school.**

No, you should be glad, because if you do...

We'll murder you.

_In the most painful way possible._

With spoons.

And forks.

_And knives._

**Don't forget the sporks.**

How could we?

_What's a spork?_

Dear, sweet, pureblooded Peter... it is a uten-

It's a torture device.

-sil. Okay, just ignore me...

**We always do.**

And always will.

**Because you're our best mate.**

So we have obligations.

That's terrific.

Isn't it?

**OI! Lilykins looking over here!**

Ooh!

Prongs, you fool, stop ruffling your hair.

Why?

**It's revolting.**

Is not.

**Yeah it is; it makes you even more stupid looking than usual.**

Oh thanks...

**You people and your sarcasm.**

**

* * *

**

**Yeah, so this wasn't as funny. :-(**

**Oh wellz...**

**PotterScar**


	8. Lily Makes Me Silly

_March 2nd, 1974  
__3rd Year  
__Charms  
__Moony, Prongs, and Padfoot_

**Hello Moonykins, Prongsieboy!**

Don't call me that.

Don't call me that.

**Why not?**

Because it's... revolting.

Disgusting.

Undeniably,

Indescribably,

**Horrible?**

Yes.

**Ah.**

So what's up?

**Not muc– Hey James, what're you writing?**

What! Nothing, nothing...

Yeah you are.

**Gimme that!**

* * *

Flitwick yelled at us for wrestling. That's a new one.

Give it back!

**Not until I have a look see...**

**HAHAHAHAHAHA.**

What's so funny?

**Look at what Prongsieboy was writing:**

**Your hair is like a cherry,**

**all red and merry,**

**Your eyes are like limes,**

**so divine.**

**You're name is Lily**

**and you make me feel silly.**

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

It's a joke, guys!

**Sure it is, Prongs. You know, I think I'll just give this to Lily...**

WHAT? NOOOO!

((Lily is _italic underlined_))

_Potter, what is the meaning of this?_

It's nothing, Evans...

_That ridiculous poem you wrote is "nothing"?_

Yes.

**I think it's something. He should submit it to the student newspaper. I'm sure they'd love it.**

I sure do.

_That's a great idea, Black... wow, those are five words I'd never thought I'd put in one sentence..._

No!

_Goodbye, Black, Potter, Lupin._

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

* * *

**Shades of Gray has been updated.**

**PotterScar**


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